“They say time takes its toll on a body. Makes the young girls’ brown hair turn gray. But honey, I don’t care, I ain’t in love with your hair and if it fell out, well, I’d love you anyway.”
Carl and Ellie
Isn’t this a sweet picture? Some of you may recognize this moment or even this couple from the movie “UP”. It begins with an opening montage that left more than a few people sniffling, and all without a single word being spoken! If you missed it, you can see how they did it right here….
The entire film was pretty much a master class about life, because in addition to showing the ups and downs of Carl and Ellie’s life together, it’s also about getting old, regret and realizing that life is messy and often beyond our control. And yet, it's also very much about things like love, compassion & making sure that every day counts.
Jim and Elaine
I wish all of you could have known Jim and Elaine. There were both really good at all of the above. He was a retired math professor and Elaine was a great lover of the outdoors. They were members of a congregation that I had served in California in the late 80’s, which is also about the time Randy Travis came out with a song called: “Forever and Ever, Amen”.
Both Ruth and I had gone through a divorce a few years before and though I felt incredibly grateful for being given another chance, I’ll never forget confiding in Jim about the ongoing guilt I felt about the failure of my first marriage.
Whether you are single, divorced, or your spouse died before you, what he told me then continues to be a source of grace for me and perhaps for you. He said, John…
Although I’ve been blessed to grow old with the first woman I fell in love with, that doesn’t make me a better person than you. In fact, that doesn’t even mean I’m better than you at commitments or relationships. It just means that this is one of the ways that God has blessed me. God has blessed you as well, maybe not in this way, but in all kinds of other ways, and that’s okay.
Sadly, even the luckiest, most blessed couples we know, will eventually experience the grief that comes with death. For Jim, it happened when Elaine died during an adventure they had been planning forever, climbing Machu Picchu.
Jimmy and Rosalynn
But the couple that’s been in my thoughts the most this week has been the Carters. I knew they had been married a long time (77 years!) but it’s the story of how they met over 96 years ago that still has me shaking my head. One more example of how truth is often stranger than fiction…
Apparently, Jimmy’s mother was the nurse who delivered Rosalynn. And then, a few days later, she brought her own toddler over (Jimmy) to see the new baby. Amazing.
At 99, Jimmy Carter is the longest-living president in American history. And though I’m sure there will be a lot of well deserved tributes shared at Rosalynn’s service on Tuesday, but I can’t imagine anything more affirming than these words from her own husband, who once said during an interview.
“Rosalynn was my equal partner in everything I ever accomplished.” And then, when asked whether winning a Nobel Peace Prize or being elected president of the United States was the most exciting thing that ever happened to him, he answered: “When Rosalynn said she’d marry me. That was the most exciting thing that ever happened to me.”
Before her death, Rosalynn was diagnosed with dementia, which leads to the kind of challenges and heart break that some of you have known as well, whether it involved sitting with a spouse or a parent or a friend. And because I’ve had the honor of being with some of you in those moments I just wanted say again what many of you already know, that even then, the power of love should never be underestimated.
Edwin and Claire
As I thought about that, I remembered another couple’s experience that was captured in a song by Kathy Mattea called: “Where’ve You Been”. It was written by her husband and was inspired by his grandparents real life experience.
Their names were Edwin and Claire and during the course of the song, we hear about their 60 years together. Toward the end of the song, both are in the hospital, “in separate beds, on different floors”.
The wife is no longer speaking and has forgotten the names of family members. But then one day, “they wheeled him in, and after holding her hand and stroking her hair, in a fragile voice she says… “Where’ve you been? I’ve looked for you forever and a day.”
It's a song that has made me cry for over 30 years now. It’s warm and beautiful, inspiring and heartbreaking all at once. Warning: If you’ve never heard Kathy sing this before, it will stay with you… “Forever and a day”.
John and Ruth
Remember the nursery rhyme about Little Bunny Foo Foo, who was always hopping through the forest, scooping up the field mice, and then bopping them on the head?
Well, after bopping, hitting & pummeling you with one sad song, clip and story after another, even I was feeling melancholy, which is not where any of these stories should end.
Fortunately, even though I often find myself struggling to get to the point, Ruth often gets to the heart of things by just being herself. This time it happened as we were putting out our Christmas decorations. (Our tradition includes doing that the weekend after Thanksgiving)
For this year, Ruth found and ordered a print for us that we hung in our bedroom. It’s clearly a nativity, but also a creative and even whimsical reminder of how God’s eternal love links us not only to every critter, but all of creation.
And it was just this weekend that I noticed which animal is standing closest to the manger! (Keep your hands to yourself Mr. Foo Foo!) We absolutely love it and will probably keep it up year around.
We hope your Christmas is filled with peace & joy. And for those of you who may be grieving, for whatever reason, may the wonders of this season help you to feel the power and comfort of God’s never ending grace.
For the LOVE that inspired this baby’s birth, and the LOVE that was shared by every couple I mentioned, And all of the LOVE in your life as well, has already been given the power to shine in ways that will absolutely continue on….
Beautiful
Really digging the Nativity Print! Well done, Nana!